GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize