Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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