I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
