at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
