The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
someone owes me an orgasm
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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