is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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