What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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