just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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