No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
COCAINE IS GR8
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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