We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
