You're a womanizer and a bitch.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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