Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
