I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
