i just google imaged poop.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
