I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
