so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
