why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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