he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
