Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
