bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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