I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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