Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
