We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
