I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
