In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
