Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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