I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
