Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.

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(407): View more from Florida

And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.

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(917): View more from New York City

No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life

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(330): View more from Ohio

Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday

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(705): View more from Ontario

You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.

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