I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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