Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
did i walk over a car last night?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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