I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
