Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I don't think brook has ever known best
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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