Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Less talking, more tequila
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
