do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
