ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
