O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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