Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
