we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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