Me. At least after what I've been through.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
