ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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