And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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