I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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