is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
