but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
