So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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