I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
