this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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