Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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