Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
