your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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