what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
