Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
