so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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