I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
