How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
