It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
birth control should be required to get into college
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
