Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
