Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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