I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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