I cannot find my penis.
...so i touched it.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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