Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize