Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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