i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
