The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
