I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
